This is step-to-step guide for a vulva gazing practice to release dissociation from your sexuality and connect to your most intimate part.
No matter if you’ve just started out on this path of coming home into your body and sexuality or if you would call yourself ‘advanced’, healing the relationship with your female genitalia that is also the most shamed, violated and condemned throughout human history never gets old.
In fact, the feminine path is a continuous practice. It’s a life’s work. It only gets deeper.
And this ritual is a wonderful way to once again devote yourself to the Feminine, your life force and your body.
1. Create an uninterrupted and safe space where you can fully relax. Light some candles, burn some incense and make sure you are warm.
2. Connect with your breath, place your hands onto your heart and feel your heart space.
3. Anchor in your intentions & fill them up with the love from your heart.
4. Lean back comfortably propped up by cushions with your knees bent and soles of your feet on the floor.
5. Have your hand mirror on the side. When you feel ready, undress yourself, grab the mirror and hold it between your legs so that you can see your vulva.
6. Begin to explore your vulva with your loving eyes. Stay very present and notice what’s coming up for you. Hold everything in love and compassion for yourself.
7. Stay with sending love from your heart to her.
8. Become intrigued and mesmerized by her and in doing so, slowly peel away the layers of shame, guilt, abandonment, disgust or whatever may have been built up about your sexuality.
9. Thank her for everything she has been through with you.
10. Ask for forgiveness for the disconnection, abandonment and neglect she has been experiencing from you.
11. Start whispering to her whatever feels true for you to let her know in this moment like “I love you”, “You are so beautiful”, “I’m sorry, I abandoned you”, “Thank you”, “I will be listening to you” or “You are safe”.
12. Take some deep breaths and ask her if she has any messages for you.
13. If you’d like to go deeper, you can take some oil and lovingly touch and massage her. You can paint her or just hold her by cupping her with your palm.
14. Thank her for this experience. Also thank your heart for holding the space.
15. When you feel you are coming to a close with your practice, take a bit more time to reflect and be with your experience. Maybe you want to journal on it.
16. Celebrate yourself for this big step of building a relationship with your vulva.