As a woman who always dealt with severe tonsillitis as a teenager several times a year, stuttering as a young girl as well as a rather weak voice and who when she gets sick, it’s her throat aching first, I had to take a deeper look into the meaning and energetics of the throat – our center of truth and expression.
It’s not a secret anymore that there’s a direct correlation between our voice and our vagina. When still an embryo, the vocal cords and ovaries are one organ that later splits into two as we develop. Anatomically speaking, our vocal folds look very similar to the muscular structure of our pelvis as well as our larynx resembles the shape of our uterus.
In fact, the word ‘cervix’ stems from the Latin word for neck. Physically, the vagus nerve, which as the largest nerve in our body represents the main component of the parasympathetic nervous system, connects our throat with our cervix.
Beyond the physical relations, there’s a lot more to the energetics of our throat. When our womb is the portal of our intuitive wisdom and the inner center of our creativity (yin), our throat is the outward expression of our life force and creations into the world (yang). I remember as a child I used to keep things to myself and also at school would be afraid or too shy to speak up even though I knew the answer. From an objective perspective, you would see that all the accumulated wisdom that is not able to be expressed gets stuck and causes a disharmony and imbalance of the creative energy and thus, causes disorders in the throat area. This is what we also can observe a lot in the spiritual arena when people awaken their life force, but for whatever reason cannot channel it into the external, into the matter. This can cause frustration or make us literally crazy.
Now we have to go deeper to explore the root causes behind the veil.
THE INQUISITION’S ROPE AROUND OUR NECK
When I stay with the example of me as a girl sitting in the classroom and not being able to raise my hand to speak my wisdom out loud, I immediately feel a lump of shame and fear in my throat. I don’t share my voice because I am afraid to be outkasted by my peers. I am afraid to be pinned at the board and pelted with stones because I said something out of the ordinary, something nobody wanted to hear, something others don’t feel comfortable with or even something that would cause jealousy in them.
I see a whole line of future events lining up in front of my inner eye of being rejected and finally, excluded from the group – which feels life threatening and preferably, keeps me playing small as a survival mechanism. And all of this is covered in a painful shell of shame.
Only later, when I began to connect the dots of my terror of burning fire and my inability to speak up, I was taken back to all those lifetimes when I was hunted, tortured, hung and burnt at the stake for practicing my feminine alchemy and magic.
Many of us witches have been incarnating now in this era. Returning to heal, share our much needed earth wisdom with the world and unapologetically make a stand that nothing and nobody can ever take us down. We can be burnt, but we can’t be silenced.
In opening our throat and sharing our voices now no matter the backlash we await, we release those traumas from the past and our body, especially our throat, is our faithful companion on this journey. Because deep inside we know that we came here to live our truth and our throat won’t give up reminding us of that.
OUR INNER GIRL’S MOTHER ROLE
Due to the complexity of life, there’s always more to the issue and there’s somehow always a connection to our biological mother, especially when it comes to our feminine expression.
Just my own example of me beginning to stutter at the same age as a young girl as my mother was when her mother, my grandmother, committed suicide shows the direct entanglement of mother and daughter.
The essential key to understand these dynamics is given by the energetics of the thyroid.
The thyroid is the gland of maturity and growth. When a woman had a mother who because of a huge extend of unprocessed trauma could not fully step into her mature care taking mother role which e.g. could show up as depression, addictions, the inability to show love, etc, this woman when she was a girl stepped into the mother role and was in constant emotional service to her mother instead of just being a child herself and enjoying her childhood.
This excessive demand a girl takes on from her mother leads her to actually not know how to care for herself. She knows how to be in service to others all her life by swallowing down her own thoughts, feelings and needs, by remaining silent, but she doesn’t know how to look after herself, her wellbeing, health and happiness.
I remember taking my mother’s pain onto my shoulders already in the womb. It gets a life-long service when we don’t become aware of it, learn what is truly ours and what not and uncouple from this dynamic in a healthy way so that we can finally grow into a mature woman.
In my women’s work, I discovered this phenomena when a woman makes a conscious connection between her vagina and her throat and deeply journeys into the dark hidden waters of her womb that she finds the dead screams of her ancestors there. All those unexpressed sensations of rage and uncried tears that her ancestors were not able to let out because of the given circumstances in their time alive. When she then lets all of these suppressed emotions bubble up from underwater and flow to her throat, she is able to release them from her cellular memory by giving them a sound through her voice. Sometimes, it’s really unfamiliar tones and voices coming out. It can also feel like vomiting. Other times, it’s a song that has never been sung into existence.
And of course, it’s not only the suppressed emotions of our ancestors, it’s first and foremost our own. The tissues in our pelvis store unprocessed trauma and buried energies that actually need to be moved. Emotions are energy in motion.
I witnessed many women releasing sexual trauma both through a tremor response in their womb as well as in their throat and mouth at the same time. It’s fascinating to see how much of our life force – our sexual and creative energy – is liberated by the release.
In my own vaginal de-armouring practice, I always make sure that my jaw is relaxed and my mouth is open so that any tension can leave my body easily. I allow for sounds to come out to work through the resistance and fears. Sometimes, my jaw trembles and my mouth opens and closes uncontrollably. It’s a whole body process of breathing, moving and sounding.
WAYS TO SUPPORT THE HEALING OF YOUR THROAT
Self-care: Especially when we took on the mother role as a little girl, we need to learn how to take care of ourselves, how to actually listen to our own needs and then take action on them. It’s a reparenting process with our inner child and goes into all areas of boundary setting (learning to say no) and physical health. We need to look at how we nourish ourselves with food and if we get enough rest and relaxation.
Toning & Singing: Our larynx is basically connected to all of our organs. Sounding from the back of our throat stimulates the self-regulation of our voice and our whole body. The vibrations of our sounds stimulate the vagus nerve and have a relaxing effect on our nervous system. Furthermore, our vocal cords are directly at the thyroid (gland of growth and maturity) and singing is motherly as babies hear the voice of their mother in the womb. With our voice we can become our own mother and sing for our inner child.
De-armouring: Releasing numbness, pain and trauma tissue from our vagina and womb has a direct effect on our throat area. Make sure to relax your jaw muscles, open your mouth and consciously help the releasing process through deep breaths into your pelvis while allowing any sounds to naturally come out on the way. Love making in general is a wonderful way to support the healing of our throat and free the expression of our voice. In fact, our throat is a highly erogenous zone that is also capable of orgasming.
Emotional maturity: When we embark on this courageous journey to express our truth into the world, we also need to learn how to be with our emotions when they arise on the path. We need to learn to hold ourselves and how to move, sound and breathe with what we feel so that our emotions don’t get stuck (again) in our womb space or as a lump in our throat.
Detox: Our throat is also a place of cleansing and purification. Simply ask yourself the question: What toxicates me in my life?